[Dean reads stories from the newspaper, Sam isn't listening]
Dean: Hey! Am I boring you with this hunting-evil stuff?
Sam: No, I'm listening.
Dean: And here, a Sacramento man shot himself in the head... three times.
[holds up three fingers, starts waving at Sam]
Dean: Any of these blowing up your skirt pal?
***
Sam: I have these nightmares.
Dean: I've noticed.
Sam: And sometimes they come true.
Dean: Come again?
***
Dean [to Sam]: I'm just freaked out your weirdo visions are coming true.
***
Dean: First you tell me you've got The Shining and then you tell me I've got to go back home, especially when...
Sam: When what?
Dean: When I swore to myself I would never go back there.
***
Missouri Moseley: Is that an EMF?
Dean: Yeah.
Missouri Moseley: Amateur!
***
Dean: Hey, I gotta question for ya. You seen a lot of horror movies, yeah?
Katherine: Yeah, I guess so.
Dean: Do me a favor, next time you see one, pay attention. When someone says a place is haunted, don't go in.
***
Gavin: She kissed me.
Sam: Um, but she didn't hurt you physically?
Gavin: Dude, she kissed me! I'm scarred for life!
***
Dean: The only thing that makes me more nervous than a pissed off spirit is the pissed off spirit of a psycho killer.
***
Dean: Hey, Sam, who do you think is a hotter psychic: Patricia Arquette, Jennifer Love Hewitt, or you?
***
Dean [to Sam]: Let me know if you see any dead people, Haley Joel.
***
Dean: Ghosts are attracted to that whole ESP thing you got goin' on.
Sam: I told you, it's not ESP, I just have strange vibes sometimes.
***
Dean [while reading his dad's journal]: I love the guy but I swear he writes like frickin' Yoda.
***
Dean: Sam, put the gun down.
Sam:(when he is possesed) Is that an order?
Dean: No, just a friendly request.
***
Dean: Come on Sam, that gun's filled with rock salt! It's not going to kill me.
Sam [fires gun]: No, but it'll hurt like hell.
***
Dean: You're not gonna try and kill me are you?
Sam: No.
Dean: Good, 'cuz that would be awkward.
***
Dean: It's a text message, it's co-ordinates.
Sam: You think dad was texting us?
Dean: He's given us co-ordinates before.
Sam: The man can barely work a toaster, Dean.
***
Sam: What dad 'wants' doesn't matter!
Dean: Ya see that? That attitude there? That's why I always got the extra cookie
***
Katherine: How do you guys know all about this ghost stuff?
Sam: It's kind of our job.
Katherine: Why would anyone want a job like that?
Sam: I had a crappy guidance counselor.
THOSE TWO ARE ABSOLUTE CLASSICS:
That's why I always got the extra cookie.
I had a crappy guidance counselor.
And all in all, Asylum is one of the creepiest episodes ever. Like, reaaalllly spooky. But it also has some absolutely awesome dialogue :)))